"Scully.." "Yeah?" "RUN!"

So, there's this game... right?  It came out a few years ago.  They said it was about the X Files, which by all accounts of the box art, it is.  It was pure, painful suspense while I waited for this game to be released.  I even bought a PS2 JUST to play it (well, and 'cause I wanted one).  It was supposed to be released on Xbox as well, which I wanted more.  I wondered why it got canceled at the time of release..

I knew as soon as I got that dreadful thing home. 

This "game" is nothing but an excuse of... of.... SOMETHING... horrible..er..  I don't know.  I would say it was an excuse to grab more money, but the fan base to actually buy a game like this isn't all that large, which Ten Thirteen/FOX already learned.  They knew better from the old PS1 and PC game that it wouldn't sell a great deal.  To be an X Files fan is one thing, but to be a gamer as well...especially after the last season, meh.  Let's just say, it wasn't a plan you could depend on.  Yes, I'm still a huge fan of the X Files and YES I AM a gamer.  It would be these qualities that make me hate this game so, and yet, make me suffer to play it too. 

I bought this game right on its release... why am I writing about it now?  Because it's so bad I still haven't finished it.  I just popped it in the ol' PS2 on a whim tonight and I swear it laughed at me.  Then it beat me up... and took my milk money, all because I fell for its trick again.  This game could have been wonderful... I love being able to play both Mulder and Scully, having different sides of the story depending on who I play.  But, DAMN!  Yes, BUTT DAMN!!  It's not just that the graphics are pretty bad at times...which, are so bad they are distracting.  It's not just that the developers thought it would be a great "nod" at the show to put references to the episodes on EVERYTHING.  It's not just that the voice acting isn't as top notch as reviews say, which also falls back on the bland dialog.  It's not just that the game play is...nonexistant.  No, it's all of these points and more... gawd, so much more.  The worst thing about this game is the story was actually written by the X Files writers.  If this had been an episode, fans would have died; spontaneous human combustion on the spot, which turns out isn't all that spontaneous in this case.  What are Mulder and Scully chasing after in this tale?  A Warlock...a freakin' alien loving warlock with a long white beard and even longer finger nails.  As soon as this character popped up, my world crumbled.  It's so friggin' ridiculous.

AND they had the balls to say that this story actually takes place between season 6 and 7.  Excuse my abbreviation, but WTF???  Sure, they throw in the black oil, some aliens, zombies, Krycek, a "spooky" conspiracy ridden town, CSM... what's this? Why, the list continues on until it's so convoluted that it MAKES NO SENSE within the mytharc of the X Files.  It seems they tried a little too hard.  

  *sigh*  I'll shut up now.. no one can truly understand how bad this game is until they actually have to play it. 

Scully: Katlyn, are you finally getting warm?

Katlyn: Yes. *falls over and spews out black oil*

*Scully proceeds to run from a puddle of black oil*

Running...from a puddle of black oil.  WTF??